well.. its tricky. but you can't approach it like that. You have to approach it like, "Dr. Chairman/mentor, I would love to train here at My Home School University, but above all, I want to be an orthopaedic surgeon - that is my life long dream. I know that Orthopaedics is competitive and I need your help to match, if not here, somewhere else. Would you be willing to help me?"...
usually, that implies 'will you make a phone call for me?'
If they don't respond "sure, i'd be willing to help. Perhaps make some phone calls, etc." they may respond, "Of course, what can I do to help?" Then you should ask "Would you be willing to make phone calls to programs I interviewed at in on my behalf?"
They will say yes, usually, and when they do, they might ask you for a rank list, or to select a few to call (mind you, they don't always know people from every program, and may be willing to call people they know.)
When you give the rank list, make sure you give it in groups, and say that it isn't finalyzed, but you really like programs X Y Z. Since you can't send it as a hash (ie a bag of choices), an order will always be implied, psychologically. Keep this in mind, don't understimate the importance of psychology.
Send it as follows:
These are the programs I interviewed at, the first group are my top choices, the second group I like, but I'm not sure, etc. etc.
Home Program
program1
program2
program3
program4
program5
program6
etc. etc.
If they say 'no' then the person is a jerk, and move on. If they seem hard to approach, etc. then don't bother, they won't do a good job for you. Find someone else.
If they say yes, and tell you what to do. Say "Thank you Dr. chairman, I really appreciate all the help you have given me thus far, and I thank you for everything in advance. Your help will help me achieve my dream. I hope I can stay here! Thank you"...
Note the # of thank yous. This is important. People like to feel needed and appreciated.
When to followup? In 1.5-2 weeks, send an email, or check in with the secretary (depending on the type of advocate you have,) and say "Dr. chairman, thank you for helping me out. Are there any programs that you would like me to provide you with contact information for?"
If they don't say anything / say everything is good, etc. you're probably okay, if they say, yes, I had difficulty with etc. and therafter, supply it to them, right away.
About 1 week later, send a thank you letter specifically to that person. Make sure it's a physical letter, handwritten or typed with a personal message. Basically, reiterating everything we just said.
When I first did this, I was too shy to ask for a phone call or help. I was a ghost. That was a mistake. You can't be bashful. They know you need them. Someone probably did it for them too. Everyone gets somewhere by the hand of someone else.. that's the way it goes, even it's just the slightest of pushes. I'm not implying nepotism or anything like that, just people trust other people's words more than paper..
Also, letter writers are great, but to have a letter from a 'well known guy' will get you interviews, but in the end, if they're too well known, or intimidating (ie not approachable), people will be afraid to call them. I was told at the end of the game that multiple people called one of my letter writers, asking about me.
Also, don't get letters / recommendations from people who are too specialized, rogues, or make a lot of $$. People are resentful, and you don't want their resentment to shine negatively on you.
Okay, that's it for now
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